I’m going through changes🎵

I have been so busy in the new role that I haven’t had time to sit and type/process my thoughts. I had a quiet morning, so I thought, “Let me do it now.” To be honest, most of them are your average mundane thoughts and anxieties that most of us in the UK are feeling.

Money troubles, Family troubles, Careers troubles – troubles for the sake of troubles. Old news really.

I’ve had two major shifts that I need to work through:

1. A family member is now living with us
2. I’m back to working in a BIG company after being unemployed for 3 months.

Lets start with the 1st.

It’s a tale as old as time—the the older generation thinks, the newer generation is useless, more fragile, ungrateful etc etc
But. Are we really?

I love this family member dearly, but it’s like having a senior citizen as a child. Growing up, my mum told me that as people age, they become more toddler-like (circle of life and all that), but I never quite realised how intense it would feel.

The issues we face aren’t unique. My members (the elderly) feel that they know better and that, as elders, they deserve special treatment. They shouldn’t have to change their ways because, after all, they are more experienced in the world and know better than me—who’s been alive for precisely half their life. While there SOME truth to the above we must also acknowledge that the world were they attained their experience is not the world we have today. Better or for worse.

I’m finding it challenging to balance my elders’ wisdom with today’s reality. This creates unnecessary drama, which, after loving a peaceful life, can feel very disruptive.

My compassion also wears thin when compromise (on my end) is expected as a default. I can acknowledge that my family sacrificed a lot so I could have the life I have today. But when did planning and sacrifice for a better future for the next generation become a debt rather than a gift? Are we now bankers making deposits in high-interest savings in the hope of yielding high returns when we’re older?

2. Working again – in a BIG company.

The place I work at is a HUGE organisation and the team is being built from the ground – a new department with new processes and ways of working. The people coming into it are a mixture of people that have been with the place for years and newbies who know how to work within a certain way – namely “product-thinking”.

It never ceases to amaze me how inefficient and disorganised big companies are, how they manage to make any profit, and how they’re still reputable as businesses. As an outsider (bottom of the food chain), I can’t decide whether to laugh or worry about how these high-paid individuals can destroy timelines or projects because of their egos. It’s a little scary because they could, and often do, jeopardise people’s careers because of their stupid decisions.

The difference this time is I am eternally grateful for landing this role when I did because I know my household needed it to keep the roof over our heads. It also provides us with the safety of keeping our future plans whenever they may happen. Because of this grateful feeling, I can “stay in my lane” and not get sucked into workplace drama. As I’m getting older I do think its a skill we do not appreciate enough – ability to stay out of drama and get shit done. I wonder if I make that my niche how far i’ll get in the highly political landscape I’ve decided to work in.

Stay tuned to find out I guess!?

All my love,

CP x